Nice. Emitional. Good colours IMO. The background may not be the best, but I guess you didnt have much choice. Will "your girl" like to be remembered like this? Well, I think so... :)
There is a heavy colorcast here. A trip to PS (or whatever) and you could spice up those colors and get rid of the yellow cast. I dont think darkening the edges is a good idea. The composition is fine, the girl is beautiful, the moment is fine, no need to focus by darkening. No need to add anything extra here. To me it would be natural to have a DOF that included her hands as the story in this pic is her DOING something. You have a wonderful model.
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